the space between
here’s a tip

don’t let the guy you’re dating order chinese on your iPad when you have yet to deactivate your OkCupid account.

a message notification might just pop up while you’re ordering General Tso’s.


[i quickly hit “dismiss,” and i’m not quite sure if he saw it or not…]

step one.

the OkCupid app has been removed from my phone. partially because i was getting a warning that my space is limited, but also because i don’t care whether i have 24/7 access to check out whatever skeeze is trying to hook up with me.

my account, however, will not be deactivated until it’s made official.

I was there to make you laugh. [an OkCupid message.]

Really hoping to get it your attention after you read this and look at my profile would you kindly let me know.

I wanted to say hello.

I read your profile and really like what you have to say, I think we have a few thongs in common.

It doesn’t hurt that you’re very cute.

would you like to find out more about each other? let me know what you think thanks Dan.

PS the above wasn’t a typo I was there to make you laugh.

1). proofread.

       a). punctuation.

2). since you posted this message from the app, my guess is that it really was a typo and it’s a pain in the ass to try and fix it, so you made up some bullshit about it being a joke.

3). not funny.

having drinks with RW tonight (date #5). my friends said i was an asshole for being weirded out about the incessant burping on our last date, presumably brought on by beer and chicken wing indigestion. i know they’re right.

it could be worse, they say.

i’m afraid i’m permanently unattracted, but i won’t know until i see him again.

online dating tip for guys

i realize i live in wisconsin, so some women (especially in the north woods?) might be into this, but more than half of your pictures shouldn’t be of your four wheelers, boats and other various sport bikes.

most women, especially me, don’t give a shit about your recreational vehicles. the four wheelers in particular, provide a backwoods flair that is beyond unattractive.

RW weekend update

update on two (yes, two) dates with RW over the weekend…

friday we went out for chinese at a really nice restaurant and had some drinks afterward. it was great, as usual. nothing out of the ordinary to report.

yesterday we got together for the football game at my house (date#4). he insisted on making this chicken wing recipe and i picked up some beer for us…sounds good, right? well, i don’t know if it was dinner or the beer, but it blessed him with a recurring burping problem. he did the best he could to hide it and be respectful about it, but it was too much…like every five minutes or so.

the kicker was when he went in for a kiss, and burped in my face (!!!). he looked so completely mortified and i was totally turned off. he apologized and we continued to watch the rest of the game (with intermittent burping), but he bolted almost immediately once it was over.

i have this switch. and as soon as my switch is turned off, it doesn’t get turned back on easily and i start to nitpick at everything. [i don’t like the shade of jeans he’s wearing; his hair needs help; he sort of has a big nose, etc.] i feel so much less attracted to him now, and i know it’s totally wrong and unfair. it’s not his fault and he was being as respectful as possible. i just have a huge aversion to bodily functions.

i should send him a text, say hi, and ask him when he’d like to hang out again, but i’m having a hard time picking up the phone. i’m such a jerk. (and for those of you who care, i’m sure we’ll be going out again…i just need to get over myself).

another date with RW tonight…three dates in one week (eek!). it’s going too well.

when is he going to let it slip that he has women’s bodies buried under his porch or something? or that he has a secret obsession with collecting random ladies’ panties?

waiting for the other shoe to drop, as per usual.

RW: when are you free on Friday?
me: after work, 6:30 or 7-ish.
RW: that's going to make for a long day on friday waiting until 6:30 - 7ish, but I'll take what i can get. Have a good night and i'll talk to you later.
me: *giggle*
date #2 with RW

RW texted me on monday, asking if i was still up for getting together. we decided on getting sandwiches at a little bistro type of place.

he was waiting for me when i got there, wearing virtually the same outfit he was on our first date, just in different colors (sticking with what works? haha). we grabbed a table right away and started chatting. we both ordered salads and hung around a little while at the bar after dinner. normally i hate dinner dates…it’s always awkward and i’m completely self-conscious about how i’m eating and always end up asking questions in the middle of bites, etc. this was the least awkward food date i’ve ever had.

we went across the street to another bar and had another drink there. he helps me with my coat, which i think is sweet and gentlemanly. conversation went well again, as i knew it would. we got a little into previous relationships and some other things that were a little deeper. it’s only two dates in, but i feel like we “get” eachother. he does all of those little things that guys do that i love: holds my face when he kisses me, occasionally walks with a hand on my lower back, opens doors but not all the time, helps me with my coat. those little things make me feel taken care of in the best way. i don’t need a guy to pay for things or take me out on expensive dates. i need a guy to make me feel protected by little gestures like that. 

it was really cold out when we left, and he grabbed my hand and tucked it away inside his coat pocket to keep it warm on the walk to my car.

i went on a date last saturday

we’ll call him RW. he’ll be 36 in a few weeks, works in IT at a law firm.

he got there just before i did, and when we spotted eachother, he shook my hand. guys: don’t shake a girl’s hand. this is not a business transaction, it’s a date.

we sat down, and he went up to the bar and got our beers. conversation was really good, and easy. i thought he was cute (he has these awesome baby blue eyes). he could use a woman’s opinion with his hair-do and a little help on his fashion sense, but a few months worth of suggestion can always sway that a little, so i’m not too concerned. we had a few beers, then went across the street to another bar to play pool.

things were getting flirty when we were playing pool and he grabbed my face and kissed me. 1) that’s hot. the aggressiveness, and the confidence. 2) he’s a good kisser. much of it was probably fueled by the handful of beers we’d had by that point, but that’s ok.

after pool, we sat on a couch and snuggled a little, he had his hand on my leg, and we had our other hands entwined…he’d look at me, and kiss me every once and a while. there was a larger group nearby who were taking pictures, and they told us to get in it. so somewhere, there’s a picture of us with a group of random strangers. he asked when he could see me again, and i told him tuesday or wednesday. he walked me to my car and grabbed my face, kissed me, then he’d start to walk away and come back for another kiss. he texted me when he got home, telling me that he had a good time, and then, “tuesday?” i replied with, “definitely.”

it was a good date…we probably drank a little more than we should have, but it was harmless. i’m hoping to hear from him sometime today.